Families with gifted children may have only the one gifted child within a group of normal children. This can present some problems that affect the family unit as a whole. Anticipating the issues and developing strategies for handling them will go a long way toward resolving these conflicts.
Jealousy of a Gifted Child
Parents who attempt to pretend that all the children are the same will not be fooling anyone, and will be treating the situation with some degree of dishonesty. The best course of action is to talk to the family, and each child individually, about the gifted child. Admit that the child is intellectually advanced compared to others but that this is only one facet of the child's personality.
Further, it is very important for the other children to understand that intellectual giftedness does not make the child intrinsically better, more valued, superior or more loved than the other family members. Each child has her own unique talents and abilities where they shine and are more motivated or proficient than others. Value those qualities as highly as intelligence in the family unit.
For example, in a family where one of the children is artistically talented, the parents need to invest time and effort into helping him to develop this talent. This may involve art classes, mentoring with an artist, or purchasing special supplies. The important thing is to value the different types of strengths and interests of each child.
Peacekeeping in the Family of a Gifted Child
One method for keeping lines of communication open and flowing is the weekly family meeting. This is a forum where each person has the time to present his issues without interruption and get a response from others. One parent acts as authority and the other as facilitator to ensure an equitable exchange. In this setting it is good to set up ground rules. For example, no talking when another child is having his time to speak, no insults and treating others like the child would like to be treated himself.
The important part of the facilitation is to mediate disputes and ensure that each child has equal time and attention. Showing and requiring respect for others points of view critical to ensuring this does not become a big gripe session.
Outside Family Counseling Resources for a Family With a Gifted Child
Some families will opt for an outside counselor who can move them in the right direction toward family harmony. Having an unbiased participant can give the group a more objective perspective on things and a skilled social worker will be able to root out the conflicts and help with problem resolution. Allowing all the children to have an equal voice in the family will improve the relationship dynamics. In this case, even the shy an withdrawn child will have influence on family decisions; not just the eloquent speaker (i.e. the gifted child) who is full of ideas.
The family of a gifted child can have a harmonious existence. The savvy parent who recognizes jealous feelings in the other children can take steps to minimize any notions of favoritism. Further, using a family meeting process or an outside mediation resource can help maintain equality in the family and healthy relationships will be optimized.
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