Parenting Gifted Kids with Help From Life Coach
Lisa Lauffer of Deep Waters Coaching Offers Insights on Challenges
Jan 28, 2009
Life coach Lisa Lauffer, CPCC, ACC, shared the issues facing parents of gifted kids during an email interview on January 25th, 2009. Lisa considers herself a “Chief Sanity Officer for Moms of Gifted Children.” She parents two gifted kids, including a twice-exceptional child, and has coached parents of gifted kids for more than five years.
What Are the Most Common Challenges of Parenting Gifted Kids?
Life coach Lisa Lauffer says many parents of gifted kids confront the following issues:
- Is their child gifted? How do they pursue gifted assessment and identification?
- How can parents communicate needs effectively to teachers and the school district?
- Does their child need to switch schools and how should they approach the process?
- Whom can they share their joys and challenges with when most friends do not want to hear it?
- How can parents maintain sanity when a gifted child requires so much stimulation that mom and dad feel like “stimulation vending machine(s)?”
- How can parents discipline a gifted kid skilled at thwarting authority while balancing the need for freedom within structure?
- How can parents fill the added needs of 2e children?
- How can parents, especially moms, preserve enough energy to pursue their own dreams?
What Is the Toughest Part of Coaching Parents of Gifted Kids?
Many of the parents Lisa coaches struggle with aspects of their own giftedness. “Most moms don't believe they're gifted. They've either never been identified as gifted, or if they were identified, they don't believe they're gifted now.”
Mothers of gifted children often battle personal cases of Imposter Syndrome. “They experience lots of doubt and deal with that doubt in typically gifted ways: so sensitive, thinking through all the complex reasons why they can't possibly be gifted. They talk themselves out of it a lot and need an outside mirror to reflect to them who they truly are.”
Lisa poignantly expresses the part of her job that breaks her heart:
“Most women won't get coaching for themselves. They will drive the planet in their minivan to find whatever help their children may need, but when it comes to getting support for themselves, the time, energy, and money are not there. Often they sink into anxiety and/or depression (also gifted issues) because they expect so much of themselves as mothers. They are not expressing all of themselves as women and they are living with their challenges in isolation. It doesn't have to be this way!”
How Does A Life Coaching Session Work?
Lisa provides her services through Deep Waters Coaching by telephone consultation so that location is not a barrier. During coaching sessions, she asks probing questions that point a client to the answers within themselves. After a client uncovers her dreams, Lisa helps her strategize concrete steps to fulfill those goals.
With parents of gifted children, coaching tends to revolve around parenting and discipline strategies, managing stress and maintaining sanity while dealing with resistant schools and packed extracurricular schedules, and preserving space for personal growth instead of “getting swallowed up in the potentially all-consuming role of parenting” gifted kids.
Hiring a Life Coach Experienced in Parenting Gifted Kids
Prospective clients may contact Lisa Lauffer through the Deep Waters Coaching website. Lisa also moderates a Ning community providing connections and emotional support to moms of gifted children. Participation is by invitation only; interested moms may contact Lisa for access.
For more information on Lisa’s personal and professional background, her fees, and her supportive role, read “Life Coaches for Parents of Gifted Kids.”
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