Parent Discipline Problems with Gifted Children
Disciplining a Gifted Child Can be Difficult
Oct 17, 2008
Many parents find it difficult to establish and maintain a consistent discipline approach for their gifted child. They find themselves in the middle of a complex and ongoing problem which is not easily managed. At various times and in various places, they are confronted with the need to exert discipline, but are at a loss to determine which way they should proceed.
Living a Normal Life
In most instances, parents do desire that their gifted child maintains as normal a life as possible. To do this means that they use the same discipline parameters that they exert on their other children. However, at times, they may allow their pride in their gifted child's ability to become more important than the enforcement of appropriate discipline and this can lead to problems later on.
At times, also, the children or adolescents themselves are able to intimidate the parent, particularly the mother, by virtue of their enhanced verbal skills, aggressive behaviour, physical size and strength and subtle and not so subtle manipulation.
Parents may also become confused about their child's fluctuating levels of skills and abilities and be uncertain of the appropriate level in which to pitch any disciplinary measures.
Peer or Child?
Parents, because of the child's adult-like language, may treat the child as a peer in conversation and then find it difficult to discipline him as a child. The child will also pick up on this and frequently exploit the parents' dilemma.
Additionally, parents may either wittingly or unwittingly pander to their gifted child because of his ability, to the exclusion of the other children, thus setting themselves up for resentment from the other siblings and finding they are unable to discipline this child in the same way they do their other children.
Discipline Dilemmas Can be Worked Through
The only way discipline dilemmas can be worked through is on a case by case basis. These children are not afraid of power struggles.
The father, in particular will need not to be ashamed to let his gifted son or daughter "win" an argument. If the father feels he must win every argument with his gifted child in order to save face, he will ultimately find that his relationship with the child will deteriorate.
Parents need to be discerning about when to let a matter drop and when to exert discipline. They will be better served learning that it is sometimes better to win the war, rather than lose the battle.
Healthy and Ongoing Communication is Vital
The communication between parents and gifted children is vital.Granted, that communication may be at times strained. But regardless of the issues that arise and which need to be worked through, both parents and children need to feel that their bond to each other through communication will never be broken.
The ability to discuss matters of importance is essential to the wellbeing of both parties. Both parent and child must feel secure in the fact that each is open to discussion at any time, whether or not a matter for discipline has just been experienced.
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