Dealing with Disruptive Behavior in the Gifted
Discipline Consistency Needed for Gifted Children
Aug 21, 2009
The most important element of discipline for the gifted child is consistency. If the parent is erratic in handing down discipline, the gifted child will continue to challenge the will of the adult to see how much leeway is available. Here are some behavioral challenges typical of the gifted child and appropriate responses in handling these situations.
Stimulus Overload in Gifted Children
The parent may not be directly accountable for creating this overload, but it will happen to the gifted child who inundates herself with learning challenges. She will reach a point where the frustration of not being mature enough to know how to handle stimuli becomes a breakpoint.
Reactions to this could be in the form of tantrums, yelling and even violent behavior, such as kicking and throwing things. The more severe the reaction, the more attention to discipline needs to be paid. If any harm is done to persons or objects, the child needs to be punished (i.e. grounded for a time period).
Because the child is having a reaction that may be a product of his giftedness, the parent may be tempted to overlook her transgressions. This would be a mistake. If another child would have been disciplined for this event, so should the gifted child.
The Gifted Child and Adherence to Rules
Many gifted children break the rules for the sake of seeing what will happen. This is a form of testing the parent and requires a swift reaction from the parent to mete out the discipline. At other times, the child breaks the rules for reasons that he may consider justifiable. For example, even though the child knows he should not go outside at night, he saw something in the sky he was curious about and had to look.
In situations like this, the parent needs to think in terms of how other children would be treated and act accordingly. Certainly the child has an intense curiosity, but the importance of safety overrides this and the parent needs to help the child internalize these priorities. This situation may call for a warning with a specific disciplinary action if the activity is ever repeated. Reasoning with the child is important because he has the ability to understand logical conclusions if they are communicated effectively.
The Gifted Child's Conflict With Others
Kids who are gifted have a tendency to have conflicts with other children. Some of this is due to jealousy by other kids and reactions to the gifted child as being strange or different. Other times, the gifted child will be unwilling to go along with the pack when it comes to acting a certain way or doing something that he does not see as valuable.
The parent can attempt to mediate the dispute if he is present and aware of the circumstances. In other more likely scenarios, the child will come home disheveled, with a detailed story of why his clothes are torn and his nose is bleeding. Give the child a chance to explain the situation. Gifted children will sometimes be victimized and need to be able to defend themselves or remove themselves from harm's way. Encourage him to develop strategies to deal with others in a constructive manner.
If it becomes evident that the child is the aggressor and initiated violent behavior against others, he should be punished with grounding or loss of privileges like any other child. If this becomes a common occurrence, it may be advisable to bring the child to a psychologist to help him develop coping skills.
In summary, gifted kids are inclined to have aberrant behavior episodes. They need to be dealt with quickly and consistently. Rule breaking, conflicts with others and episodes of violence need to be evaluated by the parent and discipline should be utilized if the child was responsible for wrongdoing. In the event that repeated problems become too challenging, an outside counselor may be needed to provide guidance and support to the family.
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